The thoughts come and hover around the corners of mind, while I go through my day refusing to acknowledge them. They come in the form of books I read or something funny I hear.
Most times, I succeed in ignoring these thoughts.
Some times however, I let these thoughts take over my mind for a while. I sit and watch them play their parts, like children in a school play. One of them is the witty one, one the insecure variety. One of them almost always makes me tear up just a little, despite myself. Then the curtain falls and I roll over and go to sleep, in the midst of confused applause.
On an unsuspecting afternoon, these thoughts creep up from behind me while I am lying on my bed. They will me to acknowledge them, speak to them, write them down perhaps. Then once I do that, they beg me to dial numbers I have been pretending to not notice, and send texts that have sitting around in my phone, waiting to be sent but oblivious to what repercussions they may bring on.
There is a small victory in standing up to these thoughts and walking away slowly from your phone. This is the only kind of victory that brings satisfaction but no happiness.
Most times, I succeed in ignoring these thoughts.
Some times however, I let these thoughts take over my mind for a while. I sit and watch them play their parts, like children in a school play. One of them is the witty one, one the insecure variety. One of them almost always makes me tear up just a little, despite myself. Then the curtain falls and I roll over and go to sleep, in the midst of confused applause.
On an unsuspecting afternoon, these thoughts creep up from behind me while I am lying on my bed. They will me to acknowledge them, speak to them, write them down perhaps. Then once I do that, they beg me to dial numbers I have been pretending to not notice, and send texts that have sitting around in my phone, waiting to be sent but oblivious to what repercussions they may bring on.
There is a small victory in standing up to these thoughts and walking away slowly from your phone. This is the only kind of victory that brings satisfaction but no happiness.
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