All the confusion inside my heads spills out in ways that keep getting increasingly convoluted.

I see my energy wash away pretending to be that person –the one that laughs in the right places and says the right things.

My space keeps getting darker until my room is black again. I draw the curtains and the street lights peep in with just enough orange spots to make my head hurt.

In the room at night I find myself making endless lists of pros and cons. I find myself admitting things that I would never admit in the light and promise of a new day.

There’s this feeling wherein you know at the pit of your stomach that everything that you consider happy right now might unravel sooner than later. I try and hide from it, but in the darkness it finds me.