There was a fire drill at work. They started announcing over the PA system that there is an emergency in the building and to evacuate it immediately. The announcer said this in the calmest voice with no sense of urgency. To be honest, I didn’t hear her the first time over the sound of Angry Birds crash landing on three I-pads around me. The second time we heard it, the people around me picked up their coffee mugs and walked towards the emergency exit, looking back several times at the TV screen to check the stock prices. One lady took her Japanese paper fan. She claimed she just simply couldn’t walk down 18 floors in this heat.
In the emergency stairwell, a man in an orange jacket shouted “Hurry up! Clear floors! There’s an emergency.” A grand total of zero people believed him. One man in sunglasses (in preparation for the sun outside) asked “What kind of emergency?” under his breath. One of my friends spotted me and skipped a few stairs to start a conversation. He offered me mango yoghurt. “It’s an emergency.” I said. “I know, that’s why I got food.”
We had to assemble floor wise in the parking lot. The heat was unbearable. I wish I had sunglasses and Japanese fans of my own. We made a quick calculation and realized that it will take painfully long for all these people to go back in 4 elevators. We decided to go have chai after they allowed our dispersal.
You may not believe this, but I heard of a divorce, 2 summer camps and a root canal surgery on the course of my walk from the parking lot to the gate. Nobody cared about the drill. The safety team cheered on having evacuated people from the building in record time. I wondered if this was record time despite picnicking with yoghurt while fanning oneself, only a small portion of us will make it out alive in case of a real fire.
The guard told us we weren’t allowed to exit the building, so we dropped our chai plans and trudged up the stairs. Another friend of mine ran past us taking the stairs two at a time. “The emergency is over. Stop pretending” I shouted after him. “There’s cake on my floor. I won’t get any, if I don’t hurry.” He screamed.
They should get him to make the emergency announcements next time.
In the emergency stairwell, a man in an orange jacket shouted “Hurry up! Clear floors! There’s an emergency.” A grand total of zero people believed him. One man in sunglasses (in preparation for the sun outside) asked “What kind of emergency?” under his breath. One of my friends spotted me and skipped a few stairs to start a conversation. He offered me mango yoghurt. “It’s an emergency.” I said. “I know, that’s why I got food.”
We had to assemble floor wise in the parking lot. The heat was unbearable. I wish I had sunglasses and Japanese fans of my own. We made a quick calculation and realized that it will take painfully long for all these people to go back in 4 elevators. We decided to go have chai after they allowed our dispersal.
You may not believe this, but I heard of a divorce, 2 summer camps and a root canal surgery on the course of my walk from the parking lot to the gate. Nobody cared about the drill. The safety team cheered on having evacuated people from the building in record time. I wondered if this was record time despite picnicking with yoghurt while fanning oneself, only a small portion of us will make it out alive in case of a real fire.
The guard told us we weren’t allowed to exit the building, so we dropped our chai plans and trudged up the stairs. Another friend of mine ran past us taking the stairs two at a time. “The emergency is over. Stop pretending” I shouted after him. “There’s cake on my floor. I won’t get any, if I don’t hurry.” He screamed.
They should get him to make the emergency announcements next time.
Hahaha...I love it! Fiercely sarcastic!
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